What's Good About Anger?: An Anger Management Course with Application Devotionals - Softcover

Hoy LCPC, Lynette J; Griffin, Ted

Softcover

ISBN 10: 0971759901 ISBN 13: 9780971759909

Publisher: CounselCare Connection, 2014

Synopsis

Most people believe that anger is a negative emotion from which no good can come. Many Christians think that anger should not be expressed and that such feelings are sinful. This book (now in it's third printing - 2014) explores the emotion of anger and how anger - which is a part of the human experience - is a force God can use for His purposes. Co-authors Lynette Hoy and Ted Griffin present a fresh approach to managing anger, identifying the problem, power and process of anger (from annoyance to bitterness or rage); biblical examples of “good anger” and how faith, assertiveness, problem-solving and forgiveness impact anger and can be used by God for his purposes. Chronic anger can be costly - physically, emotionally and relationally. Most people can use their anger in appropriate ways in some situations, and yet can be ineffectual or harmful in other situations. Applying principles from the What’s Good About Anger? book and workbooks can reduce your levels of anger, and help you learn effective coping behaviors to stop escalation and to resolve conflicts. Logging anger, triggering situations and applying new skills will help you more effectively control unhealthy anger responses. Ebook available! Chapter Titles: Introduction and Instructions; Group Guidelines Anger Survey: Anger Log The Power of Anger When Anger is Good The Role of Faith Handling Anger Biblically Turning Anger into Forgiveness and Grace When to Take a Time-Out Cognitive Distortions Plan to Change Your Life by Changing Your Thinking and Trusting God Summary Application Devotionals for Anger Management Gain a new perspective on anger, how to let God control you when it flares up and how to better manage your response to provoking situations

About this title

About the Author:

Lynette J. Hoy is a National Certified Counselor and a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in private practice in Oak Brook, Illinois. Lynette is also a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor and served on staff for 9 years at Calvary Memorial Church overseeing LifeCARE Ministries, a program training lay counselors and offering support groups for hurting people. Lynette has received the credential: Certified Anger Management Specialist-IV from the National Anger Management Association. She is a writer, author and speaker for various publications, community and church groups. Ted Griffin is retired from working as Managing Editor of Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers. He has authored numerous gospel tracts, including the best-selling You're Special; and is working on several books and writing projects. Ted is a mentor, teacher and lay helper at Calvary Memorial Church in Oak Park, Illinois. He has extensively studied anger issues after having grown up in a family with an alcoholic father.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.:

ANGER’S MANY FACES

Lynette’s Story
I can remember the day my sister came home with a suspension slip in her hand for throwing an orange in the lunchroom. My father dragged her upstairs to the attic. There were loud noises, yelling, and crying. She limped down the stairs, bloody and bruised.

I can remember the beatings in the basement with a board, my father’s rage, the pain and the fear.

I can remember experiencing a “cold shoulder ”for days when I would disappoint someone.

I can remember my husband and I up in the attic two weeks after our daughter was born, screaming at each other and throwing things. I don’t remember what caused the anger or why it hurt so much. But I experienced anger’s pain, inner wounds, and loneliness.

I learned that anger was something to be feared, that it was cruel, loud, cold, silent, resentful, and threatening.

Ted ’s Story
I have long feared anger--my father’s and my own. My dad, an alcoholic whose drinking kept him from connecting with his family, had a quiet anger.

He didn’t beat us or yell at us for hours--he just sort of ignored us. My anger--which was really years ’worth of bitterness toward Dad--became violent and abusive and dangerous, especially after my father died and I couldn’t express my anger to the one I was really mad at because he wasn’t around anymore.

Looking back, I am ashamed of many of the things I said and did at that stage of my life. And I thank God for helping me forgive my father and learn how to be kind to my family, a family I almost lost because of my rage. Not all anger is wrong, but when it’s like mine was, only God can keep the individual and his family from going over the cliff. I praise Him for doing that for me and my family. The journey hasn’t been easy or quick, but God has drawn and sustained me with His love and faithfulness every step of the way, and He continues to do so.

All of us have experienced anger. Some of us have cringed under the rage in our families, struggled with it in our souls, felt it toward our friends and loved ones. Some of us have shocked others with volcanoes of anger.

But anger is not just a personal enemy. The evidence abounds that we live in a mad, mad, mad world. Statistics from American Demographics say that

·23% of Americans admit they openly express their anger.
·39% say they hold it in or hide it.
·23% say they walk away from the situation.
·23% confess to having hit someone in anger.
·17% admit they have destroyed the property of someone who made them mad.

We want to demonstrate to you that anger, though potentially harmful, is a complex emotion we can still learn more about and a positive force that God can use to accomplish His purpose in the world and in our lives today.

What Is Anger?
When you think about anger what words or pictures come to mind? Frustration? Rage? Anger can be defined as an aversive state ranging from annoyance to rage. Webster ’s says, “Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure and antagonism, indignation or an automatic reaction to any real or imagined insult, frustration, or injustice, producing emotional agitation seeking expression.”

Let ’s look at the problem of anger in our society. Anger’s effects are evident. There’s rampant violence in schools, families, and neighborhoods. For example:

· Severe violence is a chronic feature of 13% of all marriages.
· Typically 35 violent incidents occur before any type of report is made.
· Every 25 seconds someone is a victim of a violent crime such as murder, robbery, assault, or rape.
· Nearly a million children are abused by their parents annually.
· Adolescents represent 12% of the population but account for 39% of all violent crime.

For Christians, anger is one of the most troubling emotions! We hear blatant admonishments such as “Christians shouldn’t be angry” or “Christians can be angry but shouldn’t sin; but since we’re prone to sin, we shouldn’t get angry. ”So what happens to our anger? We end up feeling guilty for being angry, or we pretend we ’re not angry. Or we numb our feelings or turn our anger into depression.

How do you feel when you’re driving down the expressway and someone cuts in front of you,almost causing an accident? Or your mother tells you, “You’ll never change--you should be more like your sister/brother”? Or your boss blames you for something you didn’t do? What kinds of emotions do you feel then? Frustration and anger are normal responses to these situations.

But as Christians, we not only have difficulty owning up to and honestly expressing anger, but then we feel worse because of the guilt that ensues as a result of feeling angry.

Questions for Thought
1.Do you ever get angry? What kinds of situations most often make you feel angry?
2.How do you really feel about your own anger? Do you see it as a friend you can trust or a foe that might destroy you? Why?
3.Why is it so hard to acknowledge your own anger? What are you afraid might happen if you are honest or transparent about this? What can you do to become more comfortable about this?

About this edition

• Publisher: CounselCare Connection
• Publication date: 2014
• ISBN 10: 0971759901
• ISBN 13: 9780971759909
• Binding: Paperback
• Number of pages: 128